Luke is a very active two year old, as most are, so I am slowly keeping up after him. I will say my biggest struggle post partum/post op was my restrictions from the csection. I felt so guilty not being able to do much with Luke, however as with my first one, I feel like I am recovering well. I really started to feel so much better starting in week two post. I am definitely feeling better each day, but need to remind myself to take it slow. So now that I am feeling better, I'm starting to try to keep up with Luke more. I will put Ben in his stroller in the garage while Luke and I play outside, which seems to work. We are working on getting our night time routine figured out...that might take a bit. As much as I want Ben on a more predictable schedule, I know that will come in time. Right now it always seems he wants to eat right when it's time for Luke to go to bed. I still put Luke down every night, which I love doing. Sean spends a lot of time with Luke when he gets home from work, because I usually am feeding Ben and getting dinner ready. So, needless to say, we are functioning without a schedule, but I know in time I will fall into place better. My biggest struggle right now is the demand and time of nursing and figuring out how to engage Luke, not leave him out, and keep him out of trouble.
The real question I have been getting is my love for these two precious boys. Let me tell you, my heart is exploding! When I was pregnant I did wonder how can I possibly have enough love, will I love this baby as much as Luke, will Luke still feel as loved as he did before, and of course, if I'm sharing my love for two kids, how about Sean!? Well, let me start by saying, I'm absolutely in love with my three boys!!! I love Ben just like I love Luke. I find that maybe I don't get the cuddle time as much during the day, but I make sure that late night, early morning feedings I snuggle with Ben a few more minutes than I normally would. Forgoing a few extra minutes of sleep is SO worth it to me, because this time around I realize how fast they grow. I love Luke with every ounce I ever have. He brings a smile to my face everyday and makes me laugh endlessly. He gives the best hugs and melts my heart when he still wants to snuggle. We have been trying so hard to make sure he feels involved with Ben, and showing him the attention he deserve. Lastly, I have a very patient and understanding husband. Sean is so wonderful, not only hoping out tremendously, but recognizing I need sleep and downtime to be able to function at all hours of the day with both boys. I do hope to have a date night in the near future but for now we are both just 'trying' to figure out our new normal. We may not have it down to a "T" and we may never...but one thing is for sure, I am so blessed, and WE couldn't be more thankful for our to beautiful boys. So for my friends asking...YES, my heart explodes with love for these two sweet boys. They bring such a new meaning to what is important in life. Everyday isn't perfect, some days I'm more exhausted than the day before, but each day I wake as tired as I may be, I m thankful for the two boys I am holding. Tonight Sean I a work function so I let Luke snuggle up in our bed to watch Backyardigns, I had Ben laying on my chest sleeping, my left arm around Luke as he snuggled up against me, and I thought to myself, the only thing more perfect would be if Sean was laying there with us. But that moment....ahhh...that is just priceless to me. Life with two is double the fun!!!
My precious boys
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